Manifesto

The symptoms of the SAALites

Be serious serious serious, until some wildly funny notion enters your head, then be delirious.

Consider the possibility that God is laughing at your witticism.

Consider the other possibility, that God is not laughing.

(Refuse to admit the third possibility, pretending that it's all covered by the second.)

Fear. Fear wildly.

Recognise beauty, and also recognise pain within your awareness of beauty, and savour that pain.

When you meet the young and dull, grab 'em by the eyeballs till they say, "hey! Easy..."

Attend your local inn and explore the wonderful world of dusty bottles that are no longer supped and bearing forgotten household names, and recite their names in a whisper as though completely oblivious to the presence of other patrons: *Benedictine.. Chartreuse... Underberg... Dooley's...*

Eschew colour in your dress. It clings and misleads and flings wavelengths. No, you must permit the light to lose itself inside your coverings and possess you instead.

If you can relinquish any ultramodern machinery and electronics it is all to the good.

Remember you will need a toaster to provide a platform for all the tinned sardines you will be eating.

Getting rid of the washing machine, on the other hand, is the perfect justification to haunt the launderette.

Send earnest, and most probably mad letters.

Immediately regret sending earnest, mad letters, but never allow this regret to crystallise as a lesson learned, and therefore

Persist in sending further earnest, mad letters.

Get an allotment, even if you have a garden;  you need to consider public relations.